I have just read/saw two posts that inspired this one:
Not The Same Girl by spokenfor and
Mr. and Miss Reindeer Have Called It Quits by Miss Reindeer.
Now, poor Miss Reindeer, has recently broken up with her special someone and asked for sympathy/empathy and some break up stories. So I told my high school break up story. I must admit, I wasn't completely honest. I knew from the beginning that he was a good friend and I really had a gut feeling that he would never be more then that, but damn it, I needed to have some one I could feel close to, so I clung. We dated only a couple of months and I was right, he broke up with me after ignoring me for two weeks over Christmas break. He gave me one excuse and every one else another. After a week, it didn't really bother me so much that we weren't dating any more. What bothered me is that I threw away his friendship just so I could have some one to hold hands with for a while, because let's face it, when it comes to romantic relationships my gut is always right. I just ignored my gut completely. This whole thing brought forth the whole thinking of him and his friendship. I know he's on facebook and I know his AIM address. Do I contact him? Do I want that friendship back enough to face an awkward rejection?
Then, Spokenfor posted a song called "Not the Same Girl" by Leona Naess minutes after Miss Reindeer's post. The song is beautiful, yet rather sad sounding. Part of the lyrics say "I'm not the same girl". I think, after hearing the whole song, that no one is ever the same. I know for sure that I'm not the same girl I was back in my Sophomore year of high school as I am not in my Sophomore year of college. Could he and I hold the same friendship as before? Would it matter? Would he still be the same and not want our friendship any more?
Finally the time comes when I ask your opinion. Do I contact him to try and gain back that friendship? Or do I just let sleeping dogs lie? What would you do?
And for those of you who read my "What If Person" entry, I think i may have found my what-if person, but in a purely non-romantic way.
Comments (4)
I'm not the right person to ask, because I don't feel ex's should be friends unless the relationship ended properly and amicably to begin with. if he did it wrong, how is he a good person to be friends with? I just don't see the point I guess.
in love, I'm an "all or nothing" kinda person, so this really colors my view of relationships and their aftgermath, so take it for what it's worth.
@spokenfor - Really the only things he did wrong was not tell me the real reason for breaking up with me and waiting two weeks to break up with me. Other then that (and not buying me a Christmas present, lol), he didn't do anything wrong. Breaking up is an awkward thing to do and I just think he didn't know how to.
You do make a good point though... However, I always try to steer towards forgiving and forgetting... Which never turns out right. Hm, that should tell me something.
@EveryRoadisanOption - i would just make sure you examine your reasons for striking up a friendship and what your expectations are. once you figure out what those are, you should be able to proceed.
I'm all about forgiving, but it rarely looks like what people expect...forgiveness doesn't entail friendship. and once you figure out how to forget please let me know, because that one eludes me.
@spokenfor - My reason is purely for the sake of having the friendship back. I made a stupid move by asking him out, when he and I had fun just hanging out.
As for the forgetting, yeah, that usually eludes me too, but I'm working it. I'll let you know when I get the concrete of forgetting. :)